OverRated
by pinkpower
Summary: The unfortunate beings had no choice in the matter of who they got to fall in love with, and let’s face the facts, making choices gave a person a sense of identity; made them tragic, but beautiful. Jessie Oneshot


**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

**Don't like, don't read!**

It was a true testimonial that the phenomena of imprinting—believed by the Quileute tribe that a person with the shape-shifter gene could discover true love with their soul mate, whether it be purely platonic, romantic, or an unwholesome mixture of both—was a curse. The unfortunate beings had no choice in the matter of who they got to fall in love with, and let's face the facts, making choices gave a person a sense of identity; made them tragic, but beautiful.

Before realization ever had the chance to sink in, it was choice—or rather _freewill _that caused a whole race of humans to make mistake after mistake.

Was it not Adam and Eve who sucked the sweet juices out of the forbidden fruit the Lord cautioned them of? Against their better judgment, it was the will of the cunning, seductive serpent to have the couple indulge their curiosity—their temptation. They deliberately disobeyed God. Their _choice_. And where did that leave them? At the merciful hands of the Creator. Since then, all humans have made the decision to be terrible and do terrible, just because that streak of evil exists in all of us. At the same time, at least you could breathe. For us, it was like holding in your breath, even though the world remained absolutely frozen. It was the very same breath you could never let go of.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. So, then what's the point?

And the truth is, my freewill wanted Bella Swan for as long as I could remember, the beautiful mortal girl with milk chocolate eyes; but she didn't want me back. At least not enough to choose me over Edward Cullen, despite the fact he was a no-good bloodsucker. I wanted to escape my harsh reality and fall into a black hole somewhere the day those two got hitched. I loathed that leech for snatching Bella away from me. He nearly drove my best friend off the cliff of misery. Edward _hurt_ her. So I never understood how—why—Bella was so enthusiastic to give Edward another chance to kill her soul . . . all over again.

Just to be with him. _Him_, a thought that used to make me clench my fists and grit my teeth, because Edward was like a drug to her, and she couldn't quit him.

Yet by some miracle, she was happy with him; the lovely girl was in love with a freak of nature. He wasn't supposed to even exist, so why should he win Bella over me? I was her sun; I was the one to pick up the pieces Edward abandoned her, and . . . there was something invisible to this impossible equation. Even when we kissed, the world still spun uncontrollably as if I were about to disappear into thin air. I lacked in a sense of gravity, and it tortured me to know that not even my love for Bella could tame my reckless soul. Though, it made me miserable to have the image of Bella glowing like a bride should (thanks to Edward) burned into the back of my brain.

But back then, I really had no clue about how the lack of option had in store for me. I had yet to fully comprehend that love wasn't about choosing the girl you _wanted_ to spend the rest of your life with. It was about something even more complicated, destiny always leading the way. Then again, that was a time before a woman who would have been my sworn enemy blessed my life with all her grace and innocence.

_Renesmee._

Or Nessie, as I preferred to call her, was probably the only person that could make me experience extreme amounts of internal conflict with a smile on my face. What a little she-demon Nessie was.

The seven year-old stared at the dirt beneath us, shifting her weight from leg to leg nervously. She looked so beautiful in the rays of the softly dimmed silver moonlight, but despite this I couldn't help but notice the tears spilling from her eyes and onto the green leaf. I was almost too ashamed to speak, for the words I wanted to say were numb on my tongue. But that didn't mean I didn't want to comfort her as good boyfriends do.

"So because you imprinted on me, does that mean you can never hurt me?" She questioned, her brown eyes still glued to the ground. "Do you _promise_ to never hurt me?" Nessie lifted her head, her milk chocolate orbs locking with my own dark ones, in search for non-existent remorse I had about her—specifically about imprinting on her.

I sort of thought that the answer was apparent, but I guess not. Thing is, Nessie wanted me to sugar-coat the truth, but I could not lie to her even when she asked me to. She deserved so much better than me. So, I took a step forward to her, probably closer than she would have liked.

"I can't promise you that, Nessie. If it's something that I've learned from Edward and Bella, I'll hurt you and you'll hurt me from time to time. That's just the way things are," I explained without breathing.

Nessie nodded slowly, but the corner of her lips curved downward into a tight grimace. This time, she was the one to come closer to me, not that I minded being her shoulder to cry on. At least, I could be _that_ to her. I sighed, my arms wrapping around her in a warm embrace. To be honest, I wasn't all that positive that this would work.

"Jacob, you've been lying to me all this time," Nessie stated as she tried to keep her tone as even as possible.

"I'm sorry," I apologized whole-heartedly. It's not like I didn't want to tell her time and time again before this, but I didn't want it to her to feel obligated to fall in love with me.

She pulled away from hug, planting her palms firmly on her hips while her eyes glared daggers at my form. "How am I supposed to ever trust you again when you keep a secret like this from me, huh?"

I couldn't answer her at all, because it was lost to me. If anything, the words would have come easily, but maybe I was always a little slow in the matters of the heart. I just knew one thing. . .

"I love you, Nessie," I told her with my heart beating wildly within the walls of my chest. Maybe I was hoping that would convince her to stop being angry with me. Wishful thinking.

There was no shadow of a smile ready to resurrect itself as it always had when I had done something to upset Nessie. She just stood there, staring at me with sorrow.

"That's not good enough."

And with that, a small part of me died inside, but there was a force inside me that somehow knew this was all wrong. I would not allow this to be the end of everything Nessie and I shared with each other—damn it! Why couldn't she just understand that I love her? She wasn't the only one in agony over here, we both are. So a few years back I was in love with Bella, but was I sorry for that? That I couldn't be sure of. Wasn't it that unattainable love that eventually led me to Nessie, anyway?

I finally understood why Bella was so ready to return to Edward—true love is a once in a lifetime opportunity. It's something you just couldn't give up without struggle, and I wouldn't let this slip through my fingers like dainty balloon strings.

A million steel cables.

"You say that, Nessie, but I truly doubt you mean it. _I know you_, and if you're going to try to fight this, I want you to hear me now: Loving you was never a mistake. Freewill be damned, all it left me with is an empty existence. I felt so alone, and every day was just a fight not to lose my sanity. Then you happened, and not a day has gone by where I haven't tried my all for you. I never knew I could feel so much for someone. And whether or not you'll admit, I know you feel the same way about me."

"Y-You're wrong," Nessie stammered, her voice cracking. "You don't mean anything to me."

Before I could call Nessie out for lying straight to my face, she had already crossed the space between us, and pressed her lips to mine. Confused and dazed by this change of attitude, all I could do was accept the moment as it came to me, and I wouldn't take it for granted. I soaked in her scent; I relished the pomegranate taste of her mouth; I cherished the passionate and angst behind our kiss.

"You mean everything to me," she confessed as she pulled, whispering this into my ear, "but you deserve far better than me, Jacob Black, and I need to let go of you. Forgive me." With that, Nessie disappeared into the forest and I was left in the dust. Still, I smiled to myself, as I already learned something she still needed to. Once you fall into love, there's no turning back.

Nessie can run away for now, but she was bound to me as I was to her. This was only the beginning.


End file.
